| Dear
Friend and Subscriber:
Herein lies the answer to
the mysterious Rolls Royce letter.
In
a moment I am going to tell you how that letter performed
or perhaps didn't perform.
But
first, I want to say I have never posted a letter for
the review of my readers before that was so universally
trashed as this one. Most of you decided this letter sucked.
One person said: "I think it was a loser because
of the continued Self-Reference." And, he said
it failed because of "the number of I, I, I..."
in the letter. "No-one cares about I. They care
about [themselves], so people don't see themselves in
the car, they see [me] selling it."
Another
shitweasel wrote: "I think at best it was mediocre,
probably a loser. It sounded desperate to me."
One
person who should be taken out and shot, wrote the following:
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"Because
you wrote the letter, it was probably a winner,
but it reads like a loser. So my guess is:
loser." Why? Let me tell you. While I'm
sure the picture of the Rolls Royce is a decent
grabber, the beginning of the letter does
absolutely nothing to grab my attention. You
don't tell me how you got my name and exactly
why you're writing me. You attempt to position
yourself as a "non salesman," yet
it's abundantly clear you're trying to sell
me an R.R. Your "not in it for the money"
line reeks of horsecrap. It totally makes
you sound like a sleazy used car salesman.
On a scale of 1-10, your believability factor
is about a 2.
Also,
if I was a man that had the financial means
to purchase a Rolls Royce, the secret "connection"
would not appeal to me. I'd be thinking: "So
what. What's the big deal? And you didn't
create a real sense of intrigue or mystery
that would even cause me to pick up the phone.
I think a letter like this would be better
if another rich dude just like me wrote me
to tell me about this remarkable secret connection
for Rolls Royces. There's a certain "kinship"
between rich folks... you should know all
about that..."
Even if this letter was indeed a loser, you're
still the greatest of all time and always
will be!!!"
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|
What?
Another
reader writes:
| "My
take on this particular ad is that it was not
successful. The use of the word "cheaply"
at the beginning was somewhat of a turn off
in my mind. And although the use of the phrase
"used car dealer" was in there to
distinguish the seller from typical "used
car dealers", the picture or vision of
that type of salesman immediately came to mind.
The final reason I would guess this was not
successful was the emphasis on financing. Even
a used Rolls would cost a pretty penny, and
my belief is that the driver of this class of
car would not necessarily need the financing
options. The emphasis would be a possible turn
off to a potential buyer for whom financing
is not a problem. There are plenty of people
driving more car than they should be, but I
haven't met too many Rolls owners who fall into
this category." |
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Women
were especially offended by this sales letter. Here is
what Ellen, from somewhere, wrote:
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"I
don;'t think this letter did well. It has
a sleaziness about it and seems somehow not
legit. The secret phone business is off-putting.
That's my pathetic
guess."
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|
Here's
a guy named Randy who is not a woman, but maybe he should
be. He said:
| "The
letter did not grab me at all. When you stated
you wanted to "sell me", just rubbed
me the wrong way. I don't know who this person
is and why should I trust him? To me, there
was no excitement." |
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Now
here's a guy who had a different point of view:
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"Gary,
I think the letter was a winner.
- It had a picture of a Rolls Royce.
- It talked about a low cost solution into
the country.
- It showed an easy way to finance over 4-5
years.
- It shows that the dealer is not greedy.
- It describes how a Rolls is different.
- It describes what it's like owning a Rolls
Royce.
- It offers a persuasive price justification
when it says it might be cheaper to own a
Rolls than the car currently owned.
- It has a non-pushy but solid call to action.
- It uses scarcity by saying that these bargains
won't last long.
- The first P.S. talks about the value and
longevity of a Rolls.
- It offers curiosity as to why this dealer
can sell these cars so cheap. My guess is
that the curiosity alone in being able to
sell a Rolls cheap would definitely generate
some calls.
If this letter was a loser please let me know
why."
|
|
Okay,
who was right? That last poor lonely voice in the wilderness
that said I did a good job or all the rest of you hurtful
shitweasels who take so much glee in attacking poor me
so viciously?
Well,
I gotta tell you. We never made a second mailing of that
letter. Because... that letter sold out every Rolls Royce
he had in stock in three days and every Rolls Royce he
could backorder. Now, I will tell you a little secret.
There was something I was hiding about those cars that
made them a special bargain. They all had right-hand drives.
You would think that having a car with a right-hand drive
would cause you a lot of problems when driving around
the good old United States of America. Well, let me tell
you that's not true. I drove one and it took me two minutes
to adjust, and none of the other buyers had any problems
with the right-hand drive either, and it sure gave a good
rationale for selling them cheep.
Now,
you listen up! The story does not end here. Two of my
friends and clients in the real estate business were perceptive
enough to see the genius of what I have created. So, they
have sprang into action and recreated this Rolls Royce
buying opportunity. And, not only can they get Rolls cheaply,
they can get Bentleys and other exotics. In fact, their
British contact secured the Rolls that belonged to the
Queen of England.
How About Those Apples?
Anyway
if you would sincerely like to drive what is quite possibly
the best car ever manufactured, I want you to speak with
a very nice lady who's name is Diane Craig. You can e-mail
her at DiCraig@aol.com. E-mail her and tell her you would
like to talk about a Rolls Royce. I suggest you do not
share with her the abject lunacy that led you to believe
that Gary Halbert could write a pathetic loser.
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