From:
South of Jewfish Creek,

Dear Friend & Subscriber,

What I am about to write, I should have written a long time ago.

You know, hardly a day goes by that I don't get one or more requests to help someone with some sort of multi-level or "network" marketing scheme. Anymore, I don't even return the telephone calls or answer the letters. In fact, my staff has instructions to automatically destroy all communications from people who want my help in these areas and to not even tell me about their inquiry.

In *one of my recent seminars, there was a couple of guys who didn't tell me they were involved in multi-level marketing until they got up on the "hot seat." Everything they were involved in was a total scam. Well, I let them and the audience talk for a while and then... I let them have it. I've never behaved that way or used that kind of language at a seminar before and, I hope I never do again.

After the hot seat, we threw them out of the seminar.

Now look, just in case there is any remaining doubt in anybody's mind about how I feel on this subject, please underline the following sentence in your mind:

Multi-Level Marketing Sucks!

It sucks big time. It's dorky, it's dangerous, it's sleazy and it's stupid. It is a magnet for slime. It is true that not every product sold by multi-level marketing is inferior. It is also true not every person involved in this nonsense is unethical. I must admit their are some (very few) good products and some (very few) good people involved in this insanity. However, even though it sometimes involves good products and good people...

Multi-Level Marketing Is
Always Stupid!

The "rap" on one recent multi-level scam is that, some time ago, there was a product developed which enhances gas mileage by 30% or more. However, until recently, this product was not put on the market because it was too bulky and, therefore, difficult and expensive to ship. But now, lo and behold, modern technology has enabled scientists to "concentrate" this product down into something called a "green bean"... and... all you have to do is pop one of these little dudes into your gas tank and you can cut your fuel bills by a huge percentage.

What a joke. If all this were true, you certainly wouldn't have to peddle this little miracle by multi-level. Actually, you wouldn't even need to do any kind of conventional marketing. No way. If all this were true, all you'd need was...

A Press Conference!

What you'd do is, you'd stand in front of a group of reporters and say, "Look, I know you're all skeptical and I don't blame you. However, this little green bean really does work and we are going to pass several of them out to each of you. All I want you to do is plop one of them into your gas tank the next time you fill up and then, keep a careful record of your gas mileage. After you do this for a couple of weeks, the results will speak for themselves."

What would happen then, if this green bean really worked? It's simple; you'd have a nationwide sensation on your hands. Individuals and organizations would be beating down your door. You'd be all over the evening news in a flash. You'd be on *Jay Leno, Oprah and all the rest. But, alas, the "green bean" cannot be promoted like this because...

It's A Fraud!

Just like all the multi-level cosmetics and vitamins that are going to give you back your youth. Just like that stupid "gold scam" where you buy "right to purchase more" certificates you are then supposed to go out and sell to other people who are just as gullible as you. But what about the legitimate products being sold via multi-level? Consider this: There was a nice man who came to my seminar in Los Angeles at the Century Plaza who had an entire catalog of good stuff to sell. He wanted my help on focusing down on which product he should concentrate on selling. One of his products was an oriental weight-loss plan and I suggested he concentrate on that. He said fine and would I teach him how to build a huge "downline" to sell the product?

Reluctantly, I said I would but only if first, he would give me a chance to talk him out of it. Then I told him that currently, one of my clients was mailing a weight-loss promotion to the tune of 125,000 first-class letters per day! Then, I asked him, "How many people would you have to have in your downline to achieve the sales my client is getting in just one single week?"

The point is this: If you have something good to sell, sell it! Don't sell somebody else on the idea of selling somebody else to sell somebody else to sell somebody else, etc., etc., etc.

One of the current dumb MLM ideas is based on a telephone deal that will lower a person's telephone bill. Assuming this deal is legitimate, wouldn't it be faster, more profitable and less hassle to sell this by direct mail? All you'd have to do is get one of the big compilers to rent you a mailing list which included phone numbers (there are tens of millions of such names) and then mail a letter that starts out something like this:

Think about this, dear subscriber: It would only cost you a few hundred smackers to test such a letter and, if it worked, you could easily "snowball" this thing until you were mailing over 100,000 letters per week...

Almost Forever!

Assuming you were getting say a 5% response from your letter, you'd be taking in about 1,000 orders every working day. Now, I ask you, how many DD's ("Downline Dorks") would it take you to equal that kind of action? What if, for example, when I created the famous coat-of-arms promotion, I decided to sell those family crest reports by MLM? How well would I have done? Well, by selling them by direct mail, we sometimes took in 20,000 checks per day. Tell me, how many DD's would you have to have to equal that?

The whole idea of MLM is stupid. It's also depressing. What's more, MLM has something in common with a pretty woman, which is...

Both Of Them Can
Lower Your I.Q.!

Ever try to talk rationally to a guy who is in love? You're wasting your time. The object of his affection could be an ax murderess and he'd still see nothing but good in her.

So it is with MLM. Take a super smart guy like Howard Ruff, get him on the subject of MLM and there, right before your eyes, you'll see his eyes glaze over and his brain begin to melt. He will become unreachable and unteachable. Burn him once and he'll come back for more. Because, as they say, "It's not the concept that was bad, it was the people."

Wrong. Everything about MLM is bad. MLM is not inherently evil but it does (nearly always) attract inherently evil people. Even if you start out with good products, good intentions and good people, you will eventually, if you grow a little, attract a massive amount of human scum into your operation. And, even if this were not true, the whole idea is still stupid. When you shuck right down to the cob, MLM is simply a magnet for lazy people who are looking for a way to sell without selling.

The whole thing sucks.

Now, let me save some of you some time and energy. Many people are going to read what I've just written and they are going to want to explain to me where I've missed the boat. They'll say, "Yes, what you say is normally true, but this deal is different. We've got the greatest product in the world and it's totally backed up by unbiased scientific research. Not only that, some of the finest people in America are in our organization. We've got lawyers, judges, doctors, millionaires, clergymen, and so on. Yes Gary, what you say is usually right but us... we're different."

I don't care. What you're doing is still stupid and, as far as I'm concerned, you can take your "green beans," your Nu-Skin, your wonder vitamins, your gold certificates, etc. and...

Stuff 'Em Where
The Sun Don't Shine!

I wonder, could there be anyone out there still confused about how I feel about MLM? Yes, I'm sure there are since, in my opinion, MLM is an I.Q. lowering drug that should probably be regulated by the FDA. Therefore, for those of you reading this who want to write or phone me about MLM, you'll be wasting your time. My staff has been told they can be fired just for giving me a message from someone who is writing or phoning about MLM. If you are involved in MLM, I don't want you at my seminars, I don't want to hear your voice on the phone, I don't want to read your letters, I don't want to meet you in person and basically...

I Don't Even Want
To Know Of Your Existence!

Now look, there's nothing wrong with looking for an easy way to make a buck as long as it's legal, slime-free and ethical. So, after having trashed MLM, I feel I owe it to you to reveal unto you a genuine "magic way" to make some money. I am looking at you right now in my mind's eye. You're sitting there reading this letter and you're saying to yourself, "Gosh, Gary's right about MLM but I sure wish he'd give me a fool-proof, can't-fail plan that will pull in fungolas like crazy. Something that will work anywhere. Something I can do all by myself. Something that will work over and over and has an unlimited potential."

Am I right? Isn't that what you're thinking? What's that? You say I'm not right? You say you have no interest in an ethical new way to rake in huge piles of cash?

OK fine, then I'll write about something else. Did I ever tell you about the time I was in a bar in Germany when this girl came over to me and...

JUST KIDDING! JUST KIDDING! I will tell you. I swear. I'll do it right now.

OK, to begin with, here is what should be one of the most exciting sentences you will ever read:

"90% Of All Business Owners In
America Have Never Written A Sales
Letter To Their Customers!"

Think about what this means! It means there are millions and millions of fungolas just laying around out there waiting for someone to pick them up. This is a jackpot situation! Here's how to exploit this baby:

OK, that's the first half of what you do. Now, just for the heck of it, let's say one of the guys you are talking with is the owner of an art gallery and he has just received a shipment of original oil paintings done by a famous artist. During the course of your interview you discover these oil paintings are priced in the $12,000 to $15,000 range which is a 50% mark-up over dealer's cost. What you do next is, you tell the gallery owner you want to take a shot at selling those paintings for him for an average of $2,000 more than he was going to sell them for and that extra $2,000 will be your "commission." Tell him you are going to write a sales letter to all of his customers which will make many of them come to his gallery with checkbook in hand.

He'll either agree or he won't. Don't waste a lot of time trying to convince him. If he's not a savvy, fair-minded guy, simply go to the next person on your list. This is simply a game of percentages. What you are doing is fishing. You're trying to locate a savvy guy, an honest guy, a guy with a good sense of humor, an easy-to-work-with likeable guy who will be happy to allow you to increase his sales on a basis that is risk-free to him.

Work this plan and you will find such people. Once you do, you then shake hands on a deal and you proceed as follows:

Work This Same Plan (And
Variations Of It) Over And Over
And Over With Various Business Owners!

Summed up, this plan is very simple: Locate business owners who sell high mark-up goods who have a healthy customer list to whom they have never mailed a sales letter and then you write sales letters to those customers and take a cut of all sales that result.

A few fine points: (A) Do not approach these business owners as a marketing consultant or an advertising expert. Approach them as an investor. (B) Don't use the owner's money even if he wants you to. Use your own. This is very important because it will immediately establish the "tone" of your relationship. (C) Don't "sell" these business owners very hard. You are looking for the "gold" among these guys and you'll wear yourself out if you run around trying to turn sow's ears into silk purses. Deal only with those who are eager for your proposition. (D) Value yourself. Don't act as though anybody is doing you a favor by granting you the interview. If anything, it's you that's doing the favor. (E) And finally... stop worrying about whether or not you are going to be cheated in one of the deals. You will be. That's part of life. Just keep moving, holding on to the quality, discarding the trash... and... someday, you'll have an extended family of clients, friends, lovers, associates, employees and so on who are "human gems" that add sparkle, quality, laughter, support and love to your life.

People like all the neat folks in my life!

	Sincerely,
	Gary C. Halbert

Copyright © 2003 Gary C. Halbert.  All Rights Reserved.