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From:
North of Jewfish Creek
Thursday, 1:28 p.m.
January 31, 2002
Dear Friend & Subscriber,
OK, dammit, I AM going to put on the free
"Patches of Light" seminar!
It's going to be on the 19th, 20th and 21st of April.
That's a Friday, Saturday and Sunday. It's going to be in Orlando,
Florida... so... if you get bored with me, you can visit Mickey,
Minnie, Goofy and their pals.
I'll write more about my "Patches of Light" seminar at
the end of this letter. But now, I want to talk about Voice Broadcasts
(sometimes known as "phone blasts") and how they might help you make a
lot of extra fungolas.
First, telemarketing has been around for a long time
and it has a deservedly bad reputation. Ask 100 people what they think
about telemarketers and those 100 people will say...
"Telemarketers Suck!"
But, methinks that's not exactly the case with this
new voice broadcast technology. Here's one example of how this modern
technology can be used. You start with a list of people who have a
common interest in something. Of course, you have to have the
telephone numbers of all these people.
Perhaps this is your own in-house list of your
personal, existing customers. If not, you should know there are
hundreds of mailing lists you can rent in which you not only get the
names and addresses... but also... the telephone numbers of all the
people on that list.
Now listen up: The selection of the list you are going
to use is... by far... the most important decision you are
going to make in this entire equation. It doesn't matter how well you
do everything else... if... you are working with a tired, exhausted
list of people who have no interest in what you are selling. In fact,
when it comes to marketing, the most important element is always...
How Well You Target
Your Prospects!
Blue collar, beer-guzzling,
pick-up-truck-driving-dumb-asses... ain't... gonna buy your
high-priced golf clubs... no matter... how good your sales pitch is.
OK, let's say you're gonna start with your own list.
Let's say you've got 100,000 people on your list and, it's been awhile
since you have contacted them. You write a great sales letter and send
it to the list. Your mailing is profitable. It pulls in x%.
Let's see if we can sweeten the pot just a bit? On the
day after you drop your mail, you record a message something like
this:
"Hi, this is John Q. Everett calling. I just
wanted to tell you I mailed you a very important letter yesterday.
It's coming in a yellow envelope and it has a sample of the kind of
bills they are using for money now in Afghanistan. There's a very
interesting story in the letter about this. And, if you hate the
Taliban terrorists as much as I do, you will really enjoy reading this
letter. So watch for it. Remember, it was mailed yesterday by
first-class mail and it's coming in a yellow envelope. Thanks for
hearing me out."
OK, Sweetcheeks, remember how you got x% response when
you mailed that letter all by itself with no telephone call? Guess
what kind of response you are going to get when you "enhance" your
mailing with the kind of 30-second telephone message you
just read? Well, instead of x response... you are going to get...
3 Times x Response!
That's right, Bubba. By using the method I just told
you about, you are going to increase the pull of all your mailings by
approximately 300%!
Here's a couple of
important things:
Important Thing #1: These calls are
all made during the day. Not at night as I thought (and told
you) a couple months ago.
Important Thing #2: These calls will
terminate automatically if a live person answers. The message will
only be left on an answering machine or voicemail.
Actually, you can
have the message delivered if a live person answers... but... that's
not the way I would do it.
Let's explore a different scenario: Let's say you are
mailing to an outside rented list. One that is not made up of your own
customers. Here's how I would change the message:
"Hi, this is John Q. Everett calling. You don't
know me but, I mailed you a very important letter yesterday. It's
coming in a yellow envelope and it has a sample of the kind of bills
they are using for money now in Afghanistan. There's a very
interesting story in the letter about this. And, if you hate the
Taliban terrorists as much as I do, you will really enjoy reading this
letter. So watch for it. Remember, it was mailed yesterday by
first-class mail and it's coming in a yellow envelope. Thanks for
hearing me out."
Not much of a change was it? The only extra words I
added were: "You don't know me but..."
You know why these are the only words I added?
Because... those are the only words that needed to be added.
Let's mush on.
Another scenario: This time we're not even going to
make a mailing. We're gonna do it all with telephone calls!
We've rented a mailing list of avid golfers. We've got their names,
addresses and telephone numbers. Now you send out a telephone
blast something like this:
"Hi, my name is John Q. Everett. You don't know
me but, I understand you are an avid golfer just like me. Well, guess
what? I just learned two simple tricks from a one-legged man... who...
in spite of his obvious physical challenge, plays scratch golf.
What he taught me was how to immediately add 30 to 60 yards on all my
tee shots... plus... he showed me a way to improve my putting accuracy
by 550%. If you'd like to know more about what he taught me, hit zero
on your telephone right now and you will hear a 4-minute recorded
message that tells you all about this. If you are not interested,
please accept my apology for taking your time."
This message will only be delivered to live
people (it will terminate if the call is picked up by an answering
machine or voicemail). When you reach a live person and if he does hit
zero, he will hear a 4-minute sales message about the golfing secrets
you have discovered and, how by giving you some fungolas, he can get
the secrets and the equipment necessary for him to achieve a dramatic
improvement in his golf score.
Here's a neat thing about this: After the guy listens
to your 4-minute recorded pitch (and, it can be shorter or longer than
4-minutes) he can press another key on his telephone keypad which will
connect him to a live order taker. Actually, he can do this when the
message is over... or... anytime during the message... even before
it's finished.
Or, he can press another key to leave you a message.
Or, he can press another key which will get him a
fax-on-demand.
And listen, that last message could be slightly
altered so it would work with an answering machine and
voicemail. I'm not going to tell you how to alter that script to do
this... because... if you can't figure it out for yourself... you are
so pig-shit stupid, you should be working at McDonald's.
Actually, there are so many other ways you can use
this technology, it makes me dizzy. But, don't you ever forget
this: No matter how dazzling the technology that makes this all
work...
It Is The Quality Of The List You
Are Using And The Quality Of Your
Message That Really Determines Whether
Your Marketing Campaign Works... Or... Fails!
Here is a somewhat edited version of the information
one company who offers this technology faxed to me:
The
Ultimate
Marketing
System
Here's how the
latest technology will completely automate all your Lead
Generation, Follow up and Customer Interaction
What you have just read is not my words. It is
the words of one of the companies who sell this technology. Here are
some of the other things they have to say in their literature:
'
"Our Customer Support team will lead you... even drag you... toward
the success you've always dreamed of."
(
"We'll initially help you write 2 turn-key campaigns for both Voice
Broadcast and your Automatic Hotline. We'll even record the scripts
for you, so you can start generating business immediately."
'
"You don't have to be a rocket scientist to implement it."
(
"A turn-key, practical, low maintenance, inexpensive Business
Generating system which offers MAXIMUM rewards for MINIMUM effort." (Hmn?
Wonder where they got the idea for that phraseology?)
'
"This information is delivered pressure-free with a warm, friendly
non-salesy educational approach."
A thought before I go on: You know the message for the
golf
deal? Well, given my
druthers, that message would be delivered by a golf celebrity. Like
Tiger Woods if I could get him.
Anyhoo, there's much more to know about this "phone
blast" stuff than I can put in this letter. Plus, I probably got some
of it wrong. Like before when I wrote these calls are made at night...
only to find out, they are really made during the day.
But, I'm pretty sure I've got the gist of it right.
And certainly, I've told you enough for you to know if you are
interested or not.
Personally, I think this could turn out to be a very
sweet deal. Here's how you can find out all the facts about
this exciting new technology. Just contact:
Jeff Troyer
Automatic Response Technologies
154 Avenue Victoria
San Clemente, CA 92672
Phone: 800/854-8765
Fax: 949/498-2591
E-Mail: Jeff@AutomaticResponse.com
Website: www.automaticresponse.com
Sorry I don't have his cell phone number, his beeper
number, the serial number of his palm pilot, his driver's license
number, his social security number, his home address, the name and
description of his mistress (maybe he doesn't even have one), his bank
account number, his credit card number and so forth.
See, I don't know this guy all that well so, you'll
just have to make do with the meager contact information I've given
you.
On to other stuff. In my December issue, I offered
free telephone consultations to anyone who wanted one. I've been
giving those free consultations until I'm blue in the face and,
according to the feedback I've been getting, my advice has helped a
lot of people immensely.
But, I haven't been able to reach everybody. I have
called some people half a dozen times before I gave up. A few idiots
left me their beeper numbers instead of their telephone
numbers.
Get real!
Anyway, I am now shredding all the remaining
requests I have for free consultations. If you still really
want a free consultation, I'll try to accommodate you. But, you
have to call and make another request and leave one or more numbers
where you are easily accessible... because...
I Won't Make Myself Crazy
Calling You Over And Over!
Let's talk about mail delivery in this so-called
"Age-of-Anthrax." Here is the text of a written message from Alice of
Specialized Mailing. (They're great people and their telephone number
is 1-888-444-2284):
"I, Alice Mishica, PERSONALLY delivered all of
Gary Halbert's domestic, Canadian, and international newsletters, all
weighing exactly 1 oz., to the Santa Ana General Mail Facility at
11:15 am on Saturday, November 10th.
"It takes a woman!"
Alrighty then. I asked my subscribers to fill out a
"Valued Subscriber Contact Form" which (among other things) asked them
to tell me when they received my December newsletter. Out of 100% of
the replies I received within the first 30-days, here's how it broke
down:
41% received my newsletter 3-days after
it was mailed.
15% received my newsletter 4-days after
it was mailed.
14% received my newsletter 5-days after
it was mailed.
14% received my newsletter 6-days after
it was mailed.
5% received my newsletter 7-days after
it was mailed.
6% received my newsletter 8-days after
it was mailed.
1% received my newsletter 9-days after
it was mailed.
1% received my newsletter 10-days after
it was mailed.
3% received my newsletter 11-days after
it was mailed.
Know what I think? I think, in this
"Age-of-Anthrax"...
Direct Mail Is Still The
"Jackpot" Way To Produce Fungolas!
For one thing, as far as competition goes, it has
thinned out the weak (cowardly) members of the herd.
Now, let's go all the way back to the beginning of
this letter. Remember I said, "OK, dammit, I AM going to put
on a free 'Patches of Light' seminar!"? Well, that seminar is, in
fact, going to be free. And like I said, it's going to be on
Friday, Saturday and Sunday the 19th, 20th and 21st of April. And like
I said, it's going to be in Orlando, Florida. And like I said, this is
where Mickey, Minnie, Goofy and their pals live... so... you might
want to bring Mama and let her take the kids to see Mickey and
Friends. But one thing I didn't tell you is...
You Can Bring ALL The Guests You Want!
There is going to be something very special
about this seminar which is going to make it extremely
valuable! (You'll have to show up to find out.)
Is anybody NOT welcome? Yep. I do NOT
want a single negative person to attend. I do NOT want a single
"sour-minded" person to attend. Do you have some ill feelings
toward me? Are you pissed at me for some reason? If so...
Do NOT Come!
It's free, but you do have to do one thing to make
sure you can get in. You have to let us know you are coming
and how many people you are bringing to the seminar with you...
plus... you have to let us know immediately! You can
either:
1. Leave a message on our voicemail at
305/534-7577 and give us ALL this information; or
2. You can fax ALL this info to us at
352/861-1665; or
3. You can write us (if you do it right
now!) by using the address on the first page of this newsletter.
(It's up at the top of the letterhead,
you dummy.)
See, we've got to know immediately how
many people are coming so we can determine which hotel we should
use... and... what size seminar room we should rent.
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Sincerely, |
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Gary C. Halbert |
PR Man For "Dialing-For-Dollars"
P.S. Hey Man, I really write a bitch of a newsletter,
don't I? (Compare it, for example, to that "package-of-shit"
Joe Polish sends out every month!)
Peace.
Copyright © 2002 Gary C. Halbert. All Rights
Reserved. |
